Prepping for the Relatives

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Nov 25, 2021

Maybe we look forward to seeing our relatives—maybe we don’t. Some of them may be great. Others could ruffle the patience of Job. More often than not large family gatherings can lead to anxiety.

If you are one of the rare people that gets along with each and every relative they have, kudos to you! I’m not there yet. So I often need some extra help to get my mind where it needs to be when I see them.

Sometimes even a conversation can be a tricky thing. No matter our age, anyone who knew us as a child seems to still think of us as a child. That can mean that they don’t seem to respect us enough to listen as we speak. And then there are those our age that we’ve never gotten along with.

I try to talk to them for a while, perhaps changing the subject to find one they like—especially if they are elderly. If I can manage a nice conversation with that person, that’s great. But if they have a condescending attitude that becomes too irritating to me, I simply move on.

And then there are the arguments. Usually, an argument—especially with a relative—can make me feel bad, if not right away then eventually. After all, I will have to face that person again at some point.

So when Aunt Betty makes her snide little comments, I try to let it pass—even if that means my tongue is turning purple from the grip my teeth have on it.

Why? Because whatever I say will be impulsive and maybe as unkind as she has been. If I want to change the dynamic between us then it would be better to meet with her privately and explain that her comments often hurt me and others in the family.

This is not an easy thing to do. But adulting rarely is.

And if I don’t do this, I feel as if I will become another Aunt Betty myself. I really don’t want to do that.

Readers who have read my books often remark that even in the midst of all the chaos my character go through, they are kind to each other. That is on purpose.

This world can be a crazy place. Kindness can go a long way to soothe away the crazy we can control.

Happy Reading,
Maira :)

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